YOU'RE THE NEWS, JOSH MARTELLI!

7/18/08
    The opening band at Goodbye Blue Monday was The Bad and The Ugly, who sounded like Modest Mouse and Man Man and hillbillies in high school.  I think they added a few verses to their cover of The Band's "The Weight."
    We played.  Not so hot, uhhh, we each screwed up at one point or another.  As Dexter said, "I'm just not on my game today.  I'll get it back."  So my most unsmiling performance.  I dunno about everyone else, I was trying not to punch anybody.
    So then we heard from The Armchairs, who were super frickin' sweet and from Philadelphia.  They were so cool and sang about Harrison Ford and helicopters and each of the four was awesome at stage bantering and they read from two books on UFO's and the lead singer wore a robe and had a pipe and they had only two names for four people, Mike and Andy.
    So then we got ready to go.  Uh-oh!  Our bag of cables and drum machine and fuzz pedal and keyboard pedal and tuner is gone!  Where is it?  We're pretty sure that The Bad and The Ugly accidentally took it.  But there is no hide nor hair of those fellows and despite a week-long craigslist barrage, myspace hunt and calls to GBM, it seems they are not going to ever return them.  Bummer city, right?
    But the Armchairs were super nice when we discovered the loss and took apart their van twice, just in case it was in there.  So that was worth it.  We'll have to go play in Philadelphia sometime.
    So we got lost in Brooklyn and Alex ran a read light (while fist-pumping the air) and Katie got us more lost and then back out again via cellular and then we drove and drove to a Wafflehouse in Pennsylvania somewhere.  By the time we got there, we were too tired to go inside, so Alex dumpster dove at Krispy Kreme and we ate old doughnuts.  We slept in the car, then drove to Watkins Glen and ate a Pizza Hut.  Alex had found free camping in the area, so up onto this big mountain-hill-thing we went.
    We got lost again.  Eventually, we found signs for the site.
    "There it is, Austin!  Coming up!"
    "Alex, that sign says 'Horse Camping.'"
    "So?"
    "It says, 'Only Horse Campers Enter'"
    "So?"
    "We can't camp there!  WE DON'T HAVE A HORSE."
    So we drove around a found a few other campsites.  We stayed at the Blueberry Patch in the $30 Wal-Mart tent we had bought earlier that day. Camping was less than great. Austin was very unhappy about sleeping in the middle, and Alex lost his blankets enough times to move to the car. Next day, we all went to the Roseland Waterpark which was much smaller than we expected. We left earlier than planned so we had time to kill in Canadaigua. We stopped by the only Starbucks in the world that didn't have wireless internet. Alex made a lot of cinnamon milk and other free drinks. For lunch, Alex dumpster dived for Tim Horton's Tim Bits. mmmm. We went to the movies, but had an hour and a half to kill so we stopped at the clothes store, Peebles, and picked out awesome outfits for each other, and of course, took pictures. Then we went to the movies, but oh no! Alex lost his wallet. Worst ever, and a lot of looking to no avail and then finally, I had the only good idea and called Starbucks. It was there. But, because it was kind of far away to Starbucks, we were late to the movie when we finally got back with Alex's wallet. So he paid for our movie because he felt bad, and we saw Hancock, which was surprisingly good but too short. We then went back to camp, and Alex made a fire. We all slept in the tent that night, and it was only okay.
    So the next day we went to the secret waterfall.  (In the parking lot, Alex and I ran ahead of Austin and this older couple says to Austin, "Well, you're an older brother and you know how to tell them what's what! ")  Inside Watkins Glen State Park, there is this big long river thing that falls water all over the place and looks real good and we ran all the way up and there's a pool in there too, but not for us, 'cause we went beyond the train tracks, past this sign that says "Don't Go Here" and we went anyway and were at the beginning of all the waterfalls.  And we swam in it.  And had a shower in the waterfall with our organic soap that had melted all over Alex's lap in the car the day before.  But then it started to storm, so we climbed up the rock face one-handed (don't drop the soap!) and put on our pants.  Then ran through the woods and saw the most disturbing event of our young lives in a cave and then ran away being grossed out.
    So it was wet and we didn't want to spend any more money.  So we went to our tent and watched 3.9 episodes of Pete and Pete (Austin's computer died.)  Then bedtime.

    A note on sleeping in the tent:  This night was awful too.  Just picture it, three boys, one comforter, one pillow and one iPod pillow (a squishy doughnut with a speaker in it) and sometimes a damp towel.  So we all start off on top of it and throughout the night, as the temperature dips, we move underneath.  But then it warms up again and Alex and I get back on top of the comforter.  And Austin tries but he's trapped underneath between us.  So he growls in his sleep until he finds a way out.  And we all woke up sore, from sleeping on rocks.

    We spent a bunch of the next day at the coffeehouse surfing the web before moving out.  We stopped by the neat-looking-but-unswimmable Hector Falls.  We arrived in Rochester with nothing to do and no place to sleep.  We bought pizza from some Italian mobsters.  They were very friendly and didn't even charge us for our sides of ranch.  Then we stopped by The Mez, where our next show was scheduled.  The owner, James, set us up and let us crash at his place.  The floors were delectable and we watched Spun.  I learned that crystal meth is a drag.
    -willy!

    So now this is Alex, and this is today. We woke up feeling pretty great, and took our turns brushing teeth and whatnot. I took a little walk, and spent some time talking to James about mountains and his adventures and cool bugs, it was awesome, He's such a cool guy. Then we watched A Scanner Darkly, which i think we've all seen before anyway. James had to do some shopping, so we went to his 'favorite lake.' Turns out it's Lake Ontario. Woo! It was cold so we didn't swim for too long, but it was nice, because today was hot. Then we walked around in the woods and stuff, and stopped by the electronics store to replenish our stolen supplies. Then we got more pizza and got ready for the show. Now we are watching Hotel Reverie, probably our soon to be friends. Next is Americanomican (i probably misspelled that) who we met some of last night. Eric is a great guy. Hopefully our buddy Rob who we also met last night will show up. Willy loved his The Anniversary shirt and i loved that he was the nicest guy ever. Then we leave!!! Austin is co-piloting me the whole way home, straight after the show. I think we are the most excited to finally sleep in beds and see friends and everyones.
 

07/13/08
    Between my last post and our trip to Kate's parents', many things happened.  Claire came over, so she and I went for a walk where I bought two books in french (Rousseau and Balzac, whose name Alex and Austin find hilarious), she taught me about microbiology, she showed me "The Cathedral" that looks an awful lot like Hogwarts and has forty (40!) floors, then I attempted to buy us tokens to go on the carousel that was supposed to be but wasn't free but couldn't figure it out and then could figure it out, so Claire rode on a sea horse and I rode on a dolphin, and then we were going to go to the museum that was supposed to be but wasn't free and didn't look at a chocolate exhibit, and then we went to this big hill and sat around talking about toes and bird's nests until Alex called to say I had to come home.  So Claire took me back to Aubrea's so I wouldn't get lost and I ate some pie that was great.  Then this guy Joey comes over.  He's from Mount Pleasant, which is near Smithfield, Aubrea's home town.  And I don't know about his guy, he looks like he could be a square, you know, a little too serious.  But he only takes a few minutes to warm up and turns out he's a great fellow.  So we (alex, austin, joey, aubrea, kate and myself) all go out to a restaurant, the Fuel and Something, which I thought was a gas station.  There we make Cha Cha jokes and play the Cowboy game and say "Cah-toe-pea-lee-ar" etc.  But soon, fun times are over, we leave and the band and Kate head East.
    Kate's rockin' parents left sleeping bags for us in the basement, so we are so set.  We sleep until 2PM the next day, because the basement is a dark dungeon.  Then Kate takes us to a friend's swimming pool which is slimy like bleach but otherwise refreshing as long as I keep my eyes and mouth sealed while underwater.  So we go home and watch Star Wars: Episode I until dinner, which is spaghetti and then we go to the Juniata River and forge our way across.  Well, Kate sat on the bank and took pictures, but Alex, Austin and I had a sweet time falling over and slapping water and swimming in place and getting sliced up by rocks in that thing.  -willy

(quote from Alex:  "Well, we will be there for five days so maybe we should just buy a tent.  I mean, we could all pitch in...")

    Okay, it's alex. i am commandeering will's computer while he is on a walk. so i haven't showered in a million years because it turns out we didn't have time to this morning, because we had to leave early because kate's parents don't want us alone in her house (understandable). so that's a bit of a bummer, but tonight we're going to  free camping, and doing some lake bathing probably.
    Last night i did two puzzles (100 piece and 300 piece, nothing to brag about) and we watched star wars III after we finished I. they both are low-grade, especially for star wars movies. we slept and stuff, and i don't remember anything fun happening. haha.
    Right now we're in Brooklyn, and i don't really like it the most. Outside is dirty and loud and too many people who don't look at you or make eye contact, and will kill you if you smile at them :(. we were walking down the street and these three guys came running out of nowhere, the one in front hit the lightpost, and then fell into the street, where the other two proceeded to surround and beat up the first.

will and i both thought that they were racing at first :( we felt dumb.

we're inside Goodbye Blue Monday, a cafe which doubles as the hipster embassy. our goal is to get the lady behind the counter to smile. we aren't being very successful. a lady just got on stage. perhaps the first act of the night. she seems super cool. apparently, her plan is to play songs on her tape recorder, and then lead discussions with the patrons in Goodbye Blue Monday.

weird, but she seems really nice. she asked is austin and i were checking our myspaces, (no) facebooks, (no) gmail, hotmail, (no, no) and then finally gave up and asked what we were doing. it was weird.

after tonight, one more show and then home.

"let's see how drunk this man can get on his break, right now!" -the strange lady on stage.

right now i'm working on my posture. i also have nothing else to say. so bye!

ps. i hate that grosso long hair picture of me :P  --->

more pictures

^Spaghetti night!

07/11/08
    We drove late into the night.  I laid in the backseat, under the ironing board and listened to Alex and Austin talk about how I should get married.  Then I was berated for interjecting.  Oh, those guys.
    We stopped 15 minutes out of Pittsburgh, parking the car next to a little league field and a creek.  Alex couldn't sleep in the front, so he laid on the trunk.  When it rained, he took the comforter and covered himself with it until he got too hot.  Austin fought with the steering wheel all night.  I tried to extend my legs, to no avail.  At 7 A.M. and wide awake, we  drove into the city.
    Still tired and not really sure where Aubrea lived, we parked the car on a street uptown and passed out again.  Sleep went a little better, with the night time mugginess passed and exhaustion setting in.  We awoke a few hours later to the realization that we were in the ghetto.  We booked it out of there.
    Downtown, we filled a meter and went in to a Starbucks.  We took turns hobo showering in the bathroom.  That helped the morale a bit, but I was rather disillusioned with this whole silly touring business.  Then we checked the e-mail.  Jeff Milo from Real Detroit liked our stuff and wanted to do a right up, and our show in Rochester is all set up and we're headlining with some sweet punk bands.  I felt like God was on my side.  We decided to find the venue where we were going to play that night.
    We found it, then tried to get a hold of Aubrea, at work.  Longing for grass and trees we searched for a park.  The one we found, Friendship Park, left a few things to be desired, so I suggested we go to a nearby cathedral.  The Cathedral turned out to be the entrance to a mega-huge cemetery.
    We drove in and found a place to camp out.  We spent the afternoon dozing, reading and listening to music and old time radio shows.  (I listened to The Smiths' "Cemetry Gates" first).  Austin discovered a hole in the ground.  Here's how it went down:
    "Will!  Check out this cool hole in the ground!  It's just big enough for your arm!  Put your arm down it!"
    "What?  No.  No!  What a dumb idea, it's probably filled with snakes."
    "You gotta!  It's so cool! Put your hand down the hole!"
    "It's like a glory hole.  No way.  Look, there's a bee, I bet there's a bee's nest in it."
    "Do it!  You gotta do it!"
    "I can't believe I'm going to do this.  I'm so dumb."
    I put my arm in the hole and the bee buzzed around me.  I wasn't too worried.  Then it landed on my face and started crawling around.
    "Austin!  I'M COVERED IN BEEEEES!"
    A pretty good use of an Eddie Izzard reference, I know.  But then I realized why most people keep their mouths closed when bees are on their faces.  The bee was halfway into my mouth.
    "MMM! MRRM!"
    I flailed my arms, but kept my face still. 
    "MMMMRRMRMRM!!"
    If he got all the way into my mouth, would it be better to just bite him, so he can't get down my throat?  Or would it be best to just open wide and hope for the best, maybe breathing out really hard?
    "MM. MM."
    I cautiously shuffled away from the hole, maneuvering my lips in an attempt to keep the bee from furthering himself into my maw without putting enough pressure on him to piss him off.  He wiggled out of my mouth and flew away. 
    Aubrea called and told us we could come over and shower.  I took down crappy directions and we clumsily made our way there.
    She wasn't home yet, but we met her kindly roommates (Kate and Carey) and then I took the first shower.  Heavenly.  Now if only I had clean clothes to wear…
    Aubrea arrived home and we made plans for the show that night.  Alex got a job as a CHA CHA guide.  Austin photoshopped.  I realized the show was 21+ and we'd have to sneak the girls in.
    The band hopped in the Intrepid and drove to Howler's, where we'd wait for the girls.  They missed their bus, so Alex and I hopped out and Austin went back to get them.  I was worried that we wouldn't be able to get them into the show or they'd get thrown out and I'd feel like a heel.
    The girls arrived, with Claire replacing Carey (an improvement.  No offense to Carey, she just didn't really talk.)  We gave them guitars and keyboards and told them to walk into the stage door, drop the stuff on the stage and beeline it to the back.
    Austin set them up as our trio of merch girls.  It was kind of ridiculous.
    The first band was Red Western, a super sweet rockin' country band.  I marveled at how different feet look when they stomp in cowboy boots instead of sneakers.  The bassist was my favorite.
    Our set went pretty well.  The sound was really weird.  Because the stage was so tall, we had to keep our amps down in volume a little bit and the monitors didn't really do much.  Apparently we sounded good, although my whistling capabilities seem to decrease with time.
    Derica was next, who had helped us with the open mic the night before.  Joe from Guyliners drummed, who was ultra-capable.  Derica was a sweet guitarist who would definitely benefit from a different setting and solid bassist. 
    We found some pizza.  The girls ate most of it while I taught them cee-lo.  It wasn't really that good, also cold.  Alex decided all Pittsburgh pizza sucked.
    Guyliners meant that Joe and Derica traded places and played really loudly.  The presence of a bassist was again missed, but they made up for it with ridiculous amounts of enthusiasm for a thinning room.
    We went home and bought Gatorade.  We repeated Scott's old joke of repeating words in various phonetic pronounciations until you sound like aliens learning to read. (Gah-toe-rah-day.  Guh-tora-day. Got-or-ah-dee.)
    Sleeping on a floor was blessed.  Alex and Austin slept in the living room, but I slept in Kate's in order to avoid the frightening fourth roommate, Emily, who would probably beat me up just for fun.
    Thursday was a reading and e-mailing blogs day.  Austin and I watched "Bobby" which was okay.  It had Shia Laboeuf.  After Kate and Aubrea returned from work we had a spaghetti party.  We crammed into the Intrepid, with Aubrea under the ironing board and got lost.  Four older women all gave us loud directions to Giant Eagle at the same time with competitive enthusiasm.  I saw a kid in a towel at the grocery.  He was ultra-cool.  I really missed swimming.
    The girls cooked for us back at the house, as they should.  No one wanted to watch "Speed Racer" (the cartoon) or "They Shoot Horses, Don't They" so we watched "Mad Max".  It was stupid. 
    Austin talked on the phone for a million hours.  I talked to Angela on the phone and walked around outside in bare feet.  A police officer told me to mind the broken glass.  Alex discovered that Vinnie had been caught shoplifting and spent a few hours in jail.  Kate, Aubrey and I watched Homestar Runner.  Austin continued to talk.  I talked to Brett who agree to record "Chicago" for me.  Alex passed out in the living room.  I slept in Aubrea's room this time and got to sleep on a bed, which is even better than a floor.
    Today's a chill day too.  Tonight we'll be driving a few hours east to stay at Kate's parents house till our NYC show on Sunday.  Everyone is being so incredibly nice to us.

^willy left the keys in the door of the car for about six hours unattended .

This is a tour update. We're in Bowling Green, OH, at Brett's house. Brett is the nicest guy alive, along with his roommate. Last night we played at Howard's Club H with Victori Fix the Sun, Native, Big Fat Japan, and Stop Don't Stop. we played well. Stop Don't Stop is a favorite band. And favorite guys, they are all the nicest. Lovely Houses left today, regrettably. Hopefully we will meet up with him later on. Ohio doesn't have any natural bodies of water, and their swimming pools are full of texting bikini babes. We're going nuts without a lake to swim in or a river to float down, hopefully we'll find one soon. Austin has been slow to take pictures(sorry guys), but there are a few: